One problem here is that you can’t take things from “The Friend Zone” to the next level. That’s because once you’re in the Friend Zone, the only level past that is “The Awkward Zone.”

You have to skip The Friend Zone all together and let her know from the beginning that you are a guy that is either a hook-up guy or a potential relationship guy, but not a help her with moving, bring her soup when she’s sick, hear about all the other guys she’s dating ; friend guy.

How do you do this? Ask her out; immediately. Also, set up the next date when you are on your first date.

If you ask her out when you first meet her, then your first call isn’t weird or daunting because it’s more of a confirmation.

First dates are best to keep casual, and comfortable. Go some place you know, and do something you are good at. That’s a good way to show her the confident real you as opposed to a nervous trying to impress a girl version of you.

Keep it casual at first, but also keep a more intimate follow-up location in your back pocket in case things are going well (and not your place). It’ll be a nice surprise when she thinks things are winding up if the date is going really well.

A great first date idea if you meet her at a bar or a club on a Saturday or Friday night: invite her to Brunch the next day. This shows her you actually would like to hang out; right away while you’re fresh in her mind. It shows her you’re not trying to take her home while she’s drunk and tired. It gives her a reason to give you her number. Also its casual, unassuming, with plenty of potential.

Make your plans for your second date while you’re on your first date. Listen to what she says, and what she’s into.  Plan right there to do something along those lines within the next week. In a day or two text or call her with the show you found, museum exhibit, etc. This way, again, this call is more like a confirmation than a cold call.

Also, at the end of the first date, go for the kiss. A little one at first; not a slobber-all-over-the-face smooch to start. Just go for a little kiss. She can either slap you, in which case you had no chance anyway. She can give you a cheek, which is not a bad sign: she could be interested, just planning to start kissing you on the next date. Or, she may meet your lips and give you a little kiss right back. You’ll have to take it from there.

It’s so common these days for people to be jaded or to just float through life. I think it is sexy when a guy is passionate about something. It separates him, and makes him stand out as an individual.

I first noticed this in college when I dated a pro-snowboarder. His life was centered on snowboarding. When he wasn’t riding, he was dreaming about it, talking about it, watching videos, or buying/ researching new gear. He told me once, “Why do anything if you are not passionate about it?”

The next time I noticed this was in my ex-boyfriend who was a wine fanatic. He hated his job, but he was passionate about wine. I loved learning everything I could about the topic. Any girl loves seeing the spark that lights up in a man’s eyes when he gets to show off the passions that excite him most.

On the other hand, if he is passionate about religion or politics, I don’t find it sexy. Those conversations tend to get heated fast, and scare me away.

It’s sexy to hear a man speak of the things he is most passionate about because all of the sudden he becomes the center of attention. He suddenly speaks with authority, and will tell you every detail about the topic. I love to learn when I can, and passionate men can be some of the best to learn from.

Why are these confident attractive women still fantasizing about meeting these sweet guys instead of actually meeting them?

One tall gorgeous brunette said, “I generally don’t go for the ‘hot’ guys. They tend to be players.” She said she liked “geeky” guys instead. The paradox is that she acknowledged the “geeky” guys are too intimidated to talk to her, but she is used to being approached and generally never reaches out to approach them.

Granted, the supposed “geeky guy” may still not know what to do if she were ever to approach him, but how will they ever meet if both parties are unwilling to step out of their comfort zones? Both actions (him approaching and her approaching) are so uncharacteristic of the two types that if neither gives in, this fantasy is unlikely to come true.

I have a friend who is a well known former model, and she successfully made her “geeky-guy” fantasy come true. In order to marry her “geeky” prince charming, she took the initiative to talk to him first. She said she knew he was probably too shy, so she had to make the first move; even though she was generally used to men speaking to her first.

She says he is the most respectful and kind man she has ever been with. She knows he is not a player, so she is able to trust him more than others as well.

Opposites may attract after all; it’s just breaking through the barriers that can be difficult. Maybe these women are on to something; the geeky guys can make great partners and going after it may be worth it.