Generally I am not a girl that has sex the first date, second, or any formula thereof. I have sex whenever I fucking feel like it, and a guy being too pushy is not going to sway me in the direction he wants any time soon.

Do you have any idea how often I literally have to throw guys out? Literally I have to tell them they need to leave Now. That’s generally how my dates end. The guys could just leave, make me fantasize about them all night, and maybe get a slam dunk next time, but no. Instead they’d rather be way too pushy, turn me off completely and make me have me tell them directly, Look, you seriously need to get the fuck out.

Example: This weekend I met a guy who was completely cute. We ended up going to dinner that night, I had a great time, and I was into him. He walked me home.all good things.

But then how the hell do I get rid of him? I said good night. He didn’t leave. I told him I had to get to bed. He didn’t leave. Even before we left the restaurant and he told one of his friends he was going to walk me home, I thought, “Fuck, please no, I really hope I don’t have to throw him out. That is so not sexy.”

After telling him everything I could muster-up to the effect of Hey, thank you, its really time to go now, trust me, I started on with my regular business as if he wasn’t even there.

I went inside, grabbed a mop and bucket, took it in the elevator of my building, went down to the basement and started mopping up a mess I’d made earlier (In 5 inch heels). He still didn’t take the hint.nor did he help.

As we got back up to my apartment, I was not about to let him back in. I lost count of how many times I told him good night, but I think he finally got the hint when I opened my door, ran inside and physically blocked him from getting in.

THEN Cassanova went in for the kiss.about half an hour too late buddy.game over, but thanks for playin.

That’s when I realized the key to getting what you want is
a) Admit to yourself what you want
b) Have the balls to tell others what you want
c) Don’t settle for anything other than what you want
d) Be prepared for the consequences (ie, this one might not be “the one” and it may take you longer to find a perfect match, but you won’t get stuck with something you don’t like.)

Make yourself a grocery list of all the things you want in a partner, and a list of deal breakers. This list will evolve over time as you experience life and learn more about yourself.

This makes asking girls out a lot easier, because rather than asking anything of them, you’re simply stating who you are, what you want, and they are free to come along. If they choose not to, great! You’ve just eliminated them from the pool, and you didn’t have to change and bend to cater to someone that’s not right for you. You can cross her off the list without investing too much of yourself by barking up the wrong tree.

For example
Instead of ambiguous questions like: “You wanna hang out sometime”

Try: “I know this great restaurant that has amazing brunch. I’d love for you to join me.” Or “I’m checking out this new art gallery this weekend. I’d love for you to join me.”

Let her know you have exciting things going on in your life, and she’s more likely going to want to “hang out.”Hang out” is a vague phrase that doesn’t say anything specific about you.

What it does say about you is that you are interested, but scared to turn off this particular girl so you leave it open-ended rather than asserting who you are. You’re making your proposal one-size fits all. But, when it comes down to it, you’re not one-size fits all.

So what’s the point of hiding that fact? All you’re going to do, if you don’t find it out then, is find it out later after you’ve invested in a few dates, or worse, an entire relationship!

So you need let it be known who you are. Yes, you will turn some people off. Perfect! They were the wrong ones anyway. But guess what:the right ones will find you a lot easier.

However, saying “nice guys finish last” isn’t generally said by “nice,” confident, and assertive men. That statement in itself is a very passive and pussy thing to say.

While said “Nice guys” may see a jerk, women see this:

Positive Characteristics of a Jerk:

*Assertive: they go after what they want in life.
*Not enough time to cater/ suck-up to everyone else. They have important things going on in their lives; more important than getting pussy.
*They do what they want to do & what’s best for them. *They may provide options and ask for opinions, but all options are something they’d like to do.
*Don’t waste time. They have a plan, and they execute it.

All of these qualities tend to make a man successful in his life, and therefore attractive to women. The perfect balance of these characteristics that will both get AND keep women is: Going out of your way to make yourself successful, not going out of your way to make others miserable.

It takes a confident man to act this way whether he is a jerk or not. Girls don’t like the games that jerks play, or rude behaviors towards others.
While women may overlook rude or jerk behavior for a while once attracted, what will not attract them is acting like a pussy.
By pussy, I mean: being passive and letting the world happen to you as opposed to making things happen for yourself. By pussy I mean: blaming others for taking the life/women you want instead of going after what you want until you get it. Lastly, a major indicator that you are acting like a pussy is if you don’t stand up for yourself.

Yes, a jerk would stand up for himself, so would a confident “nice” man, but not a “pussy.”

In summary: Yes, women may like certain things about jerks. Women appreciate it more when you are not a jerk, but are a confident, assertive “nice” man. “Nice guys” only finish last if by “nice guy” you mean pussy.

But then, we had to go a little deeper into the issue at hand. This particular viewer was a 24 year old virgin (which is not that old by the way) and was just ready to get laid. There are a few factors that go into getting laid, and the first of which is: her willingness to fuck you in the first place.

He didn’t even know: Maybe she was a virgin too. In which case, there’s no way she’s giving it up on the first date, or the second, or probably even the third. If you are wanting to fuck right away, you need to make sure you are going after girls that are at least interested in doing that.

Even still, whether she is going to fuck on the first date depends completely on her. You don’t need to pressure her at all. Sure flirt, make a move, kiss her, but you don’t have to be too eager because if she wants to fuck on the first date, she will. If not, then you’re the pushy needy desperate guy that she’s going to avoid.

Furthermore, no amount of money you spend (on a legitimate date) is going to increase your chances of getting laid. If you spend $50 or $500, if she wanted to fuck you on the first date, she will, and if not she won’t. (The exception is if you clearly and completely chintz out: she may have initially wanted to fuck you, but then realized you’re lazy and not worth it.)

So, Why spend the extra $450?

Why not spend that towards the next 9 dates and increase your chances of getting laid over time?

If you want to increase your chances of getting laid exponentially, that’s when you spend the $50 on a date, and the $450 towards investing in yourself: ie education, a nice car, watch, clothes…for you!

Girls come and go….with all the shit that you bought them. So why not invest mostly in yourself? Because then when the next one comes along, she will see an improved version of you, rather than a broke used up version of you. That is more attractive to women.

You’ll see that the more you invest in yourself, over time, the quality and the quantity of pussy you will attain is much greater.
More on the Cost Benefit Pussy Analysis Theory to Come…

Piece of Advice from yesterday’s show:

When a girl gives you lame excuses about why she can’t see you and it seems no matter what you suggest she’s too busy: she’s not interested, but just won’t tell you “no” for two reasons:

a) She’d like to keep you on the backburner in case she ever needs you for anything in the future.
ie: help moving, shoulder to cry on, financial assistance in a pinch….but not getting laid.

b) She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings…. Again in case she ever needs you for anything.

*First Off: When getting in the business of approaching women, it’s important to remember and understand that rejection is just part of the game. Don’t take it personally. It’s impossible to catch every single stranger you attempt to talk to on a good day, with plenty of time to talk, with a fantastic compatible personality, single, and interested in exactly what you are bringing to the table.

Even in sales, good odds are 10%. This doesn’t mean one out of every 10 will say yes. This may mean you’ll have a dryspell of 90 No’s and then a flood of 10 Yes’s. The only way to get more Yes’s is to keep asking…and to make sure you’re asking the right target market….and to make sure what you’re “selling” is something the market you are targeting even wants.

There are ways to improve your odds that must begin before you even approach anyone.

1. Establish eye contact! What are the odds you are going to happen to be the man of her dreams if she won’t even look over at you? If you can’t catch her glance, there are better odds she’s already found the man…or woman…of her dreams, is not interested, or is just too busy to talk right then.

If she’s scanning the room and allowing the opportunity for your eyes to meet, at least it’s a signal she’s open to meeting people.

2. Next, smile!

a)      There are few things weirder than a guy staring at a girl for an extended period of time, and not smiling.

b)      Smiling is an instant message; “Hey I think you’re cute, wanna talk?”

If she smiles back, that’s an invite to start a conversation.

If she looks away, don’t necessarily think she’s not interested; she may just be shy. If she looks back shortly after, that is your invitation.

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Tory Lane and Dallas Lowe

The last couple of days, unfortunately, Lauren the host of LIVE with Lauren on Naughty America has been out sick. I was lucky and had the opportunity to fill in, and I have had an amazing time!

 

Yesterday, I interviewed Tory Lane. Oh my God she is amazing. She is outrageous in all the good ways. I love when I can learn from people, and I definitely learn from Tory every time I see her. What I mostly learn from Tory is that it’s okay to be yourself, and to fearlessly express your true personality and sexuality in any situation.

She is a wild free spirit that does what she wants and never gives anything the chance to get in the way of that.

Tory is recently married, is very much in love, hotter than ever, and also has a great boyfriend that would live up to any girl’s wildest fantasies.  I am happy for her, and I can’t wait until the next time she is on LIVE with Lauren, so I can hear all about her upcoming trip to Dubai and Ibiza. Lucky!