However, saying “nice guys finish last” isn’t generally said by “nice,” confident, and assertive men. That statement in itself is a very passive and pussy thing to say.

While said “Nice guys” may see a jerk, women see this:

Positive Characteristics of a Jerk:

*Assertive: they go after what they want in life.
*Not enough time to cater/ suck-up to everyone else. They have important things going on in their lives; more important than getting pussy.
*They do what they want to do & what’s best for them. *They may provide options and ask for opinions, but all options are something they’d like to do.
*Don’t waste time. They have a plan, and they execute it.

All of these qualities tend to make a man successful in his life, and therefore attractive to women. The perfect balance of these characteristics that will both get AND keep women is: Going out of your way to make yourself successful, not going out of your way to make others miserable.

It takes a confident man to act this way whether he is a jerk or not. Girls don’t like the games that jerks play, or rude behaviors towards others.
While women may overlook rude or jerk behavior for a while once attracted, what will not attract them is acting like a pussy.
By pussy, I mean: being passive and letting the world happen to you as opposed to making things happen for yourself. By pussy I mean: blaming others for taking the life/women you want instead of going after what you want until you get it. Lastly, a major indicator that you are acting like a pussy is if you don’t stand up for yourself.

Yes, a jerk would stand up for himself, so would a confident “nice” man, but not a “pussy.”

In summary: Yes, women may like certain things about jerks. Women appreciate it more when you are not a jerk, but are a confident, assertive “nice” man. “Nice guys” only finish last if by “nice guy” you mean pussy.

*First Off: When getting in the business of approaching women, it’s important to remember and understand that rejection is just part of the game. Don’t take it personally. It’s impossible to catch every single stranger you attempt to talk to on a good day, with plenty of time to talk, with a fantastic compatible personality, single, and interested in exactly what you are bringing to the table.

Even in sales, good odds are 10%. This doesn’t mean one out of every 10 will say yes. This may mean you’ll have a dryspell of 90 No’s and then a flood of 10 Yes’s. The only way to get more Yes’s is to keep asking…and to make sure you’re asking the right target market….and to make sure what you’re “selling” is something the market you are targeting even wants.

There are ways to improve your odds that must begin before you even approach anyone.

1. Establish eye contact! What are the odds you are going to happen to be the man of her dreams if she won’t even look over at you? If you can’t catch her glance, there are better odds she’s already found the man…or woman…of her dreams, is not interested, or is just too busy to talk right then.

If she’s scanning the room and allowing the opportunity for your eyes to meet, at least it’s a signal she’s open to meeting people.

2. Next, smile!

a)      There are few things weirder than a guy staring at a girl for an extended period of time, and not smiling.

b)      Smiling is an instant message; “Hey I think you’re cute, wanna talk?”

If she smiles back, that’s an invite to start a conversation.

If she looks away, don’t necessarily think she’s not interested; she may just be shy. If she looks back shortly after, that is your invitation.

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One problem here is that you can’t take things from “The Friend Zone” to the next level. That’s because once you’re in the Friend Zone, the only level past that is “The Awkward Zone.”

You have to skip The Friend Zone all together and let her know from the beginning that you are a guy that is either a hook-up guy or a potential relationship guy, but not a help her with moving, bring her soup when she’s sick, hear about all the other guys she’s dating ; friend guy.

How do you do this? Ask her out; immediately. Also, set up the next date when you are on your first date.

If you ask her out when you first meet her, then your first call isn’t weird or daunting because it’s more of a confirmation.

First dates are best to keep casual, and comfortable. Go some place you know, and do something you are good at. That’s a good way to show her the confident real you as opposed to a nervous trying to impress a girl version of you.

Keep it casual at first, but also keep a more intimate follow-up location in your back pocket in case things are going well (and not your place). It’ll be a nice surprise when she thinks things are winding up if the date is going really well.

A great first date idea if you meet her at a bar or a club on a Saturday or Friday night: invite her to Brunch the next day. This shows her you actually would like to hang out; right away while you’re fresh in her mind. It shows her you’re not trying to take her home while she’s drunk and tired. It gives her a reason to give you her number. Also its casual, unassuming, with plenty of potential.

Make your plans for your second date while you’re on your first date. Listen to what she says, and what she’s into.  Plan right there to do something along those lines within the next week. In a day or two text or call her with the show you found, museum exhibit, etc. This way, again, this call is more like a confirmation than a cold call.

Also, at the end of the first date, go for the kiss. A little one at first; not a slobber-all-over-the-face smooch to start. Just go for a little kiss. She can either slap you, in which case you had no chance anyway. She can give you a cheek, which is not a bad sign: she could be interested, just planning to start kissing you on the next date. Or, she may meet your lips and give you a little kiss right back. You’ll have to take it from there.

I am a firm believer in the theory that our attraction patterns have evolved over time as a society. I feel like the reason confidence, or trust in yourself, is so attractive is because originally this was a trait that would help you live longer. Men that were confident would run and attack a potential meal, while men that were not could not provide for their families.

That being said, “over-confidence” or “cockiness” in those situations could also get you killed, again leaving a family with nothing to eat.

That is my theory of why I find confidence sexy, and cockiness unattractive. Whatever the root of my attraction, one thing is for certain: sitting next to a man that is comfortably sure of himself makes my blood boil.