Who You Are In Bed Is Who You Are In Life
Posted by Dallas on 5/11/10 • Categorized as My Sex-tivities
As Samantha from Sex & the City put it, “Who you are in bed is who you are in life.†I think this works vice versa as well: Who you are in life is who you are in bed.
As many of you know I’ve been decorating my new apartment constantly, so lately if a guy wants to take me out, I ask if he knows how to use a drill instead. Most of them do not, so I end up doing the labor myself.
Just so you understand, I don’t plan on sleeping with anyone just because they come over. Its just that decorating is just something I’m majorly interested in right now, so if they want to hang out at all; that’s what they get to do.
Last week, there was this guy that wanted to hang out. I told him I have projects I have to finish at home, and I’d love some help.
He’s really hot, has plenty going for him, and looks great on paper.
Towards the end of the night, he gave me a tiny good bye kiss. (Tiny because I cut it off)
Oh My God it was so Sloppy, and I couldn’t show him the door fast enough.
Then I started thinking about it, he was sloppy since he showed up! While I am grateful for the help, he pretty much wrecked everything he touched.
- He broke the leg of my bed when all we were doing was tightening a screw.
- He broke a mirror
- It was his idea to reinforce a cabinet, and then he left a very visible screw hanging a full inch out until I asked if he was going to go ahead and finish it.
- He brought food on my white zebra rug after I asked him not to
- He kept walking on the white rug with his shoes on
- He tells me that he generally eats peanut butter and jelly every night-(not an example of how he wrecked something, but just another thing that sounds sloppy to me)
I don’t think I’m Completely Anal…Ok I’ll admit it, I am a Little fucking anal, but come on! I was more stressed out having him there than when I had my neighbor’s two kids over; running around and pulling on my chandelier.
I’m generally not one to extrapolate; However: If He is That Sloppy in That many tasks, I can already bet he is Sloppy in Bed, and THAT is something I Never want to see.
Then I started thinking: Well, he’s really nice, maybe we could just be friends?
No, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to just be friends, and leading him on would be wrong….and pointless…because I’m not going to have him over ever again to drill anything else because he’s sloppy. I think you can’t fix sloppy, and if you can its more time consuming than I’m interested in devoting: I’ve already got one Fixer-upper I don’t need another one.
this is the story of my wife and I….shes hot, anal, clean and gets obssessed with house projects…Im a filthy pig but on paper im kinda the shit…witty, good looking, charming, educated, and successfull…but i do eat PB and J 3 times a week…
what would have happened if you had one of the guys from queer eye from the straight guy over…you would have had an awesome night of getting things organized, cleaned, and had some awesome conversations about duvee covers and thread counts..but you wouldnt have thought about sex once..your priority is your house and it takes presedence over boys…
he blew it when he accepted the invite to come over…he should have taken you out of your “work zone” and allow all of your focus to be on him and not reinforcing a cabinet…one thing i can promise you is that he wont be sloppy in bed..clearly this is all he thinks about and was annoyed that you had him doing bitch boy errands..and if he did do them well and turned out to be a great help you would automically view him as a nice guy and a reliable friend…..you set him up! if you would have gone out and saw how well he carries himself in puble, he would have been drilling you and nobody would be complaing about things getting sloppy or wet
Ew no one is drilling me that eats on my rug
But you’re probably right, I’m way more interested in my apartment than boys right now, but at least I gave him a chance!
I agree with Greg…that wasn’t a chance, that was using him with an unrealistic expectation. Next time invite over a construction worker if you want to get the work done. It could be your loss because he may actually be really good in bed and obviously is a nice guy if he put up with that. Just because he doesn’t want to do your handy work, doesn’t mean he is bad in bed. Bad correlation.
LOL You guys are missing the point, I’m not going to sleep with everyone to see if they are good in bed. They can only get to that part if they impress me.
Plus I have to be really into it also, and I cant be attracted to someone that lets me down.
…Plus… Peanut Butter and Jelly? Not hot, just don’t tell girls that.
Besides, who brings food on a white rug? and after they’ve been asked….raised in a stable? Not hot. Manners are basic, and expected.
Manners are always a good thing. But eating habits can always be worked on or changed. So based on your assertion, does that mean you are anal retentive in bed since you said you are in life? That must not be too fun if someone has to live up to your unspoken expectations. Can you do an article of do’s and don’t in bed so guys don’t mistakenly do the wrong thing? We can’t read minds, help us out
I’ll put some dating tips, but really its all about being yourself. Sloppy guy, for instance: should be sloppy because that’s who he is. He just shouldn’t try to date girls that are completely turned off by it.
He needs to be himself, because if he tries to be different, it’ll only disappoint them both when the real him comes out.
If he is himself, and the girl is not only not scared away, but likes it, then he has found a keeper.
I, in this case, was not that keeper.
…One piece of dating advice though (from a completely different instance) Elbows off the table pls. Just think about the things your mom taught you. She did it for a reason.
I’m confused. What does having elbows on the table have to do with the type of person you are in life or in bed? It may not be good etiquette, but I don’t think you can judge a person’s character because they put their elbows on the table during a date. Like I said, those simple things can be worked on and learned. You may lose out on some really great guys because you are shutting them down for superficial reasons. Now if a guy tells you he cheated on his ex…that is a reflection of his character and you should reconsider.
I disagree. IMO Poor manners is a sign of disrespect. It shows they dont hold me in high enough regard to present themselves well. If I would be embarrassed to be seen with them in public because of poor manners, that’s a huge turn off.
You asked for dating tips, that’s just an example of a turn off for me.
I have no reason to date people that I’m not attracted to, or that I couldn’t introduce to my family or friends. I don’t have any desire to change, fix, or “work on” anyone either.
I want to be with someone bc I love who they are, not who I can create or train them to be.
The best dating tip is to be yourself and not pretend to be someone you’re not. If the girl you’re with doesn’t mind the things you do, that’s great. If she does, find someone that’s better suited to you.
Thanks for the dating tips, but I asked for sex tips. It’s cool though, I understand if you don’t want to go there.
Oh, you’re right, my mistake! I have sex tips from Porn Stars already up, and I’ll compile some more.
XOXO
Paper doesn’t always translate to real life. You should’ve known that one.
That guy got what was coming to him. Don’t break things and make a mess in a woman’s house, and by all means, if she asks you NOT to do something, DO NOT DO IT. That’s just common courtesy. No need to feel bad about not wanting to go futrther with him.
And about you just taking advantage of men to get your work done, if a guy REALLY wants to hang out with you and get to know you, then he’ll do the work since that’s where your focus is. Do some work, then have a nice little dinner and conversation after you’re done (maybe you could even whip a little something up for him, or at least some good takeou), just NOT on a white rug. That’d be just stupid.
On PB&J’s, there’s nothing wrong with them. It’s a quick sandwich to make and actually quite healthy for you. It also works well for people trying to gain good weight/muscle because there isn’t too much bad in it.
And dating tips or sex tips…there all welcomed oh great and wise Dallas.
Thanks! I’m so glad you agree. All my friends, before I wrote anything, immediately said “Ew he must be terrible in bed!” And I’m like, “That’s what I was thinking!” Its not just me.
And your actions do reflect on you.