I was interviewing women at a university in San Diego recently, and I observed something interesting. A common fantasy among many tall beautiful intimidating women, is that they will meet a sweet, sincere, stable guy rather than a “bad boy.”

Why are these confident attractive women still fantasizing about meeting these sweet guys instead of actually meeting them?

One tall gorgeous brunette said, “I generally don’t go for the ‘hot’ guys. They tend to be players.” She said she liked “geeky” guys instead. The paradox is that she acknowledged the “geeky” guys are too intimidated to talk to her, but she is used to being approached and generally never reaches out to approach them.

Granted, the supposed “geeky guy” may still not know what to do if she were ever to approach him, but how will they ever meet if both parties are unwilling to step out of their comfort zones? Both actions (him approaching and her approaching) are so uncharacteristic of the two types that if neither gives in, this fantasy is unlikely to come true.

I have a friend who is a well known former model, and she successfully made her “geeky-guy” fantasy come true. In order to marry her “geeky” prince charming, she took the initiative to talk to him first. She said she knew he was probably too shy, so she had to make the first move; even though she was generally used to men speaking to her first.

She says he is the most respectful and kind man she has ever been with. She knows he is not a player, so she is able to trust him more than others as well.

Opposites may attract after all; it’s just breaking through the barriers that can be difficult. Maybe these women are on to something; the geeky guys can make great partners and going after it may be worth it.