A member just emailed me and asked “Dallas am I being Played?”

He is a great looking mid-50’s guy, and had just met a 35 year old girl on a dating website. They had amazing 5-hour long sex the first night… (my kind of man!)

He wrote to me because he hadn’t seen or heard from her since! She lives 50 miles away, and says she is “going through a hard time financially.” IE facing eviction, out of work, raising a teenager etc. He sent her some money to help her out.

I dug a little deeper, and then discovered he had also asked her to move in! However, he was concerned about the fact that he hadn’t seen her since their first meeting. How long had it been since their first meeting? I confirmed; yes, it had only been a week, and he is already trying to move her in, pay her bills, and fix all her problems.

SLOW DOWN!!!!!!

At first, no. You were not getting played. You had a great time, she gave it up, and things were casual. But now, you’re only playing yourself!

Move her in? Pay her bills? Are you kidding me?

You had some great sex. There is no need to bring all her irresponsible drama into your life just yet.

Women that have their lives together and their heads on straight do not get 3 months behind in their rent payments and face eviction.

Conversely, women that are a little nutty are often fantastic in bed! Why not just have sex with her? Why have you become so clingy just because you had a great time? (By the way that last part what rhetorical since I know its only because you had some nice young pussy that has you all confused.)

Believe me, (as someone who knows plenty of girls who get plenty of guys to pay for plenty of shit) STOP!!! Its not going to get you anything, so why do it? If anything, offering up money and support too soon will only show her she can use you. She’ll string you along. She’ll still bang her neighbors and her friends-with-benefits for free, and also the other guys that give her money every time she tells them she’s about to get evicted. However, its not ever going to get you on the top of her mind.

How to Fix this Mess:

• Play it cool. Don’t be so eager beaver. In fact, plan some other dates with other girls off that dating site to distract you a little. Stop texting so much. You’ve already shown her you have good intentions, have a great career, stamina like a mutherfucker, and are good for all the RIGHT reasons. Now chill out. She’ll text or call you, don’t worry.

100% she will text! Even if she just wants you as a backburner guy, she’ll still call you, so seriously don’t worry about that.

• Make a plan for dinner (not the day of. At least a day or two in advance.) You drive to her area or you can meet somewhere like last time. Plan something fun and have a good time. DO NOT offer money. DO NOT bring up moving in. Really, don’t even talk about her job prospects or any of that; because if she really is worried about it, it will stress her out. And if she just uses sex to get guys to pay her bills, it will only give her a platform for her cause.

• The only way you should offer to help from this point until you are in an exclusive relationship (if you really want to go that route, and I have a suspicion that it’ll fizzle out as soon as you pull back on the support) is to offer to help her with her resume or to ask around and see if anyone that you know is hiring people with her skill sets.

So far, her only skill set you’ve mentioned was riding your cock. So really unless she’s going to be the next big porn star, she might want to start pounding the pavement.